Setting Boundaries with Grace and Love
Because loving discipline is just as powerful as loving words
This past Christmas, my children were gifted tablets — shiny new devices that instantly became their favorite possession. As excited as they were, I made it clear from the start: these devices came with responsibility, not just entertainment. I explained that to enjoy their tablets, they needed to respect a few house rules:
Screen time is limited. Once the timer goes off, that’s it.
Clean spaces first. Rooms and play areas need to be tidy before screen time.
Respect the setting. Tablets are not allowed at church or during moments that require attention and reverence.
Behavior matters. If attitudes slip or actions cross the line, the tablets take a time-out too.
We’ve tried this before — cheaper, off-brand tablets that didn’t survive for long. But this time, I hoped the combination of clearer expectations and maturity would make a difference.
Discipline with Love, Not Shame
A few weeks in, my oldest daughter had a rough day at school. She lashed out at another student, and when I asked her what happened, she was honest: “It was a simple disagreement that got out of hand.” I thanked her for her honesty. Still, she knew what that meant — she’d lose access to her tablet for at least a day.
On another occasion, my younger two erupted into a loud, never-ending shouting match. They both lost their tablet privileges as well. And I could see the writing on the wall: This was going to be a long battle of the devices.
Over the course of two months, the pattern continued. Privileges were earned and lost. Screens came and went. Arguments, talking back, tantrums — all led to some tough but necessary decisions. Each time I took away a device, I was met with sad faces, dramatic speeches about how I was “ruining their lives,” and my own growing stress.
But in all of this, I kept returning to one thing: grace.
Grace Is a Two-Way Street
Eventually, I had to draw a firm line. I told them: “You’ll get your devices back at the end of the school year.” Not as a punishment, but as a reset — a chance for all of us to refocus.
Each time I’ve taken the tablets away or returned them, I’ve tried to do it not from a place of anger, but from a place of love. I remind them — and myself — that discipline done in love reflects the heart of God. He lovingly corrects us, too. And His grace doesn’t vanish when we mess up.
I’m learning that parenting, much like our walk with Christ, is full of reset moments. Teaching boundaries, modeling consistency, and showing grace — it’s not easy, but it’s necessary.
“Whom the Lord loves He correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.”
— Proverbs 3:12 (KJV)
EQUIP: Apply the Word
When emotions run high and consequences are hard to hand out, remember the Word:
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
— Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)
ENCOURAGE: Balance Over Busyness
Continue setting boundaries that prioritize character over convenience. In a world full of noise and distraction, raising children to seek God first is a countercultural — but vital — mission.
EMPOWER: Stand Firm in Love
It may not be the popular choice, but it’s the right one. As parents, we’re called to be steadfast and grounded in truth. Even when the tears come, the attitudes flare, or the “you’re the worst parent ever” speeches roll in — stand strong. This world is filled with distractions, but we are raising children to stand apart.
